Hello. My name is Nuri, and I am a Planner.
Ever since I was little I liked to plan things. I would spends weeks planning parties I never threw. I would take a little more time to design projects based on materials from my yard and basement rather than buying new components. My room was always full of as many shelves, drawers, baskets, and compartments as I could get so that everything could have a place. (I didn’t do a great job at keeping things in their places, but every 3 months or so when I was compelled to clean my room, at least there would be plenty of places to put things! Besides, I knew where everything was even if it was on the floor under something.)
I am, and always have been, superb at making what I need from what I have. I won a bottle rocket competition by setting a cone of tar paper on top of a soda bottle that had a parachute cut from a trash bag attached (because physics, not aesthetics, is the governing force here!). My science olympiad Rube Goldberg machine made the front page of the school paper because it was built from scrap wood, toilet paper tubes, beer cans, and cedar shims. (Also it was freaking awesome and would have won if I had used cotton string for the slow burn to take up time instead of acrylic, which melted immediately DAMNIT.)
I enjoy the planning process. I LOVE doing research. I will spend forever on it if I do not check myself. (“The deadline for this paper is two days away and I have yet to put words on paper. But I am REALLY REALLY well versed in the topic now!”) I love making charts and organizing my information in a central reference location. I *enjoy* accounting. I know how to do things to Excel spreadsheets that make them putty in my hands. This also makes it easier to communicate my plans and needs to other people, which also makes me happy.
All of these things I do for the joy of doing them, not just for the end result. I am a process planner the same way I am a process knitter or spinner; I like doing the activity as much, if not more, than I enjoy the final product.
Knowing that I have all the big things covered and can devote my attention and creativity to dealing with minor problems as they arise is what keeps me motivated. Problems or obstacles to the Core Pillars of an event or project or *life* can be paralyzing to my creativity because I cannot fully disengage from trying to fix the problem or overcome the obstacle. The less I have taking up my attention, the more I dwell on fixing the problems.
You would think that without a job, I have all the free time ever, so my crafting would be way up. Nope, it’s actually way down. I do more crafting when I am super busy and pressed for free time. My brain is so focused on needing a job, an income, a way to use my skills to be a productive member of society instead of a drain on my family’s resources, that there is very little idea-making going on in the Thingmakery cortex. Not only that, but the way my ADD works with my creativity is that I have my best ideas when I am trying to focus on something else. Not having something else I have to focus on means no more best ideas.
It is not a total loss; this is a great time for me to finish many of the projects already in progress. I have been working on craft projects, but not having new ideas. Luckily I have started so many of them in the past that there are plenty to finish without having new ideas. I have an entire basket of garb that needs repairs or initial sewing. I have at least 5 knitting projects in progress, not counting the two that I already finished during this drag. Completing things at least gives me some sense of accomplishment, even if it does not bring in a steady paycheck.
But I still want to throttle every person who tries to console me with a comment along the lines of, “Oh, well at least you have more time to knit!”